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Ron Burgundy Is More Beleivable

EAG has been against the Common Core Curriculum since they first heard about it, apparently because it’s a government initiative. So far, they haven’t found a way to blame unions.

Veld Comm Core

But their complete lack of touch with the real world has never been more evident.

Probationary teacher washout Ben Velderman recently sourced an Education Week article that described how teachers were being forced to regiment bathroom time, so as to lessen distractions and maximize learning. All in the name of performing better on standardized tests and avoiding a state takeover.

After reading this article, Velderman saw an opening. “According to our three sources, a growing number of young elementary students are hiding out in school bathrooms as a way of coping with the stress caused by …  Common Core.” Beyond the obvious ridiculousness of this story, that 10 year olds run to the bathroom to relieve stress, EAG’s “sources” have a track record that doesn’t instill confidence.


Kyle interviews mysterious hooded source on a union-backed, international communist conspiracy.

Years ago Kyle Olson posed with a dark, hooded “source” to expose an international communist plot against Wisconsin Governor Scott Walker. The obviously posed photo of Kyle standing like a Macy mannequin is truly laughable. After all, don’t all real reporters interview their secret sources on the street, through a darkened doorway?

These new “sources” also tell them that “Some elementary students have reportedly started an “I Hate Math Club” that meets on the playground during recess to share horror stories from math class.” Grade school kids standing around on the playground share horror stories? Perhaps Velderman has never met an actual elementary school student, but if he wants to invent believable stories about little kids on a playground, he should consider visiting an actual playground and have a look.

But beyond their obvious story inventions, EAG’s anti-Common Core position is hard to rationalize when it has so often pointed to standardized test results to condemn teacher unions and public schools. But then logic isn’t their strong suit.


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